Letters to My Little One | 3 Month Old

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Thursday, October 12, 2017

To my little peanut,

This time last year, we found out we were pregnant with you. October will always be one of my favorite months. I cannot believe you are three months already. Time is going by so quickly! But I am so happy I get to spend every day with you. You’ve been here for three months somehow. You are such a blessing in our lives. I don’t know what I’d do without you.

You are so close to finding your toes – it’s so cute. I just wish you’d find them soon so that I can photograph it. You are so patient with mommy and her camera. I hope you’ll thank me for it one day. I love how much you smile. You love people and being around family. You don’t like being alone (like in the car or when you are left in your swing), you would much rather be around people. You are starting to laugh at things. Right now your favorite is fart noises. You are such a boy! You just laugh and laugh at fart noises. It’s the best! I love trying to figure out what makes you laugh. You also laugh at certain faces I make (don’t worry, everyone does!) and when I tickle you.

It’s so amazing to watch you learn and grow. This month you are able to grab on and recognize a toy. Last month you had no clue! It’s amazing and I love watching you learn. You love to shake toys and eat them. It’s too cute! You are so amazing at how much you learn and I am so excited to watch you grow.

Things you love: your mommy + daddy. You love your aunts and uncles and your grandma, too! You love to smile and talk. You talk a lot, and believe me, we all love it. You tell mommy all about your day. You love to take baths. You love to get dressed in the morning. You love having your diaper changed. You love stroller rides. You love to kick and wiggle. You love to stand up and look around. You love to eat (who doesn’t!) and enjoy smiling at mommy. Your life is great!

Things we love about you: how much you smile. I could watch you smile all day (and I do!). We love your little personality that is starting to show. You are so calm and sweet. You are mostly a happy baby. We love the way you look. Your sweet smile fills my heart with joy. I love your hair, too! We can’t get enough of how cute you are. Daddy always comes home from work and giggles and says, “he’s just so cute!”. It’s adorable, really. Life got better once your arrived, little one. It’s sweeter and I have more of a purpose than I did before. I wish I could slow down time and let you stay little forever. But, at the same time, I am so excited to continue to watch you grow and learn and develop. It is so fun to see you learn new things.

I am blessed to be your mommy.

I love you so much!

Love, mommy

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read month 1 here
read month 2 here

Letters to My Little One | 2 Month Old

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Tuesday, September 12, 2017

To my little peanut,

So many things have happened in this month! First, you rolled from your tummy to your back like a champ. You did it three times, showing off for your parents. We loved it, of course! You moved right on up to one diapers, too! Your cute little thighs are getting so chunky – I LOVE it! It’s so cute! You’re wearing 0-3 month clothing and almost to the point where you can wear just plain 3 month. You’re getting so big at 2 months old. I really can’t believe you are 2 months old. Somedays, it feels like forever ago that I gave birth to you. But then other days, it feels like just yesterday.

Time is, of course, going too fast. You really won’t stay little forever, will you? It makes me sad, but at the same time, I am so proud of all the little things you do each day. The little things you learn each day. You are growing and maturing so quickly!

You hate waking up in the morning and it’s adorable. I just giggle at you as you grunt and try to open your eyes. Don’t worry, I think we all have those days. Once you’re awake, though, you smile and talk so much! Your little form of talking is just so adorable. You also love to kick and wiggle a bunch right in the morning. Mornings are one of my favorite times with you. You’re too cute.

I’m so proud of you, little one. For all that you are accomplishing. For all that you will accomplish. For all that you’ve already accomplished. You’ve come so far, but you have so far to go. And don’t worry, mommy + daddy will be right there with you, cheering you on. You have blessed our lives for the better. We love talking to you, seeing your big eyes fill with happiness as you smile and laugh at us. And you love talking to us. You smile and grin every time you see us. We can tell how much you love us, and our hearts are full. We love you. We love you so much.

Things you love: daddy! You smile the biggest when daddy is around. No joke. But you talk the most for mommy. You love to blow spit bubbles (gross!). You love to kick. You love to sleep but hate waking up. It’s really cute. You love bath time. You love spending time with your family. You love back time and tummy time. You love taking walks with mommy + daddy. You love talking. You love to lift your head. And of course you love to eat! You basically just love life. You’re a happy baby which makes this mommy happy.

Things we love about you: how much you are talking! After you nurse you sometimes just stare up at me and coo. It melts my heart it’s so darn cute! You do this funny thing with your hands where it looks like you’re trying to fight, it’s too cute. We love the way you look. I didn’t think it was possible, but you’ve gotten cuter. You still have so much hair! That is probably the number one thing people comment on. So. Much. Hair. And we love it!  I love watching you try new things, like rolling over for the first time, reaching for that toy, and even laughing! You laughed this week for the first time and it melted my heart! It was so cute. I love everything about you. Your little thighs, your little toes, fingers, hands, nose, ears, lips….I could go on and on. You are just too adorable, I can’t get enough.

I am blessed to be your mommy.

I love you so much!

Love, mommy

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read month 1 here

Letters to My Little One | 1 Month Old

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Saturday, August 12, 2017

To my little peanut,

I’m nearly in tears writing this. No really. You’re one month already? Where did that month go? I feel like it was just yesterday that I was still pregnant with you wondering when you’d make your appearance. Wondering what you’d look like. Now I know! You have the most perfect little nose ever. You have my lips and I love it when you smile! Your face is adorable, even when you’re upset. I can’t get over how cute you are and that you’re all mine!

Things you love: momma and daddy snuggles, kicking, back time, napping, staring at faces, smiling, and bath time. You love to be clean, whether it’s bath time or just changing your diaper. You love it. I hope you continue to love that! You like it when daddy does bicycles to help you get gas relief (poor little one!). Life as a one month old seems pretty sweet to you!

Things we love about you: of course we love the snuggles! I love how alert you are and how you love staring at me. I love how you try to talk to me, but can’t, and only get a few sounds out. I love how you sometimes just need to snuggle to calm down. I love your smiles and how you smile at me when you realize it’s me. I love the noises you make. I love it when you start to wake up. Your eyes open and close and your face starts twitching. You smile occasionally. It’s the cutest thing! I love it when you laugh in your sleep. It’s adorable! Your daddy loves to come home from work and snuggle you. He loves telling you about his day and talking to you about yours. Your daddy really loves you and it’s so cute! I love that you can recognize my voice and face. I love being your momma.

Really, this month has gone by so fast. I really wish I could slow time down. Everyone warned me about how they ‘grow up too fast’. I believe them now. My little momma heart is so full and happy. I love being your momma and I love our family. You really made my heart grow bigger with love when I first saw you. You’ve changed my life for the better and I can’t imagine it without you. I am so excited to watch you grow. To teach you. To be there for you.

Grow, little one, and be healthy. But don’t grow too quickly. My little momma heart can’t take it. You’re amazing. I’ll love you forever. I’ll like you for always. As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.

I love you so much!

Love, mommy

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My Boy – 2 Weeks Old

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He was 2 weeks old on July 26th! I can hardly believe it. He has already changed so much from the day he was born. Things he loves: momma + daddy, sleep, breastfeeding, and talking with daddy. He’s officially a pro at breastfeeding. He loves to look around and listen to what you have to say. He’s usually really relaxed and chill. He hates being put down for sleep. He hates it when his diaper is dirty (even just a tiny bit wet!). He never pees while he’s sleeping – he usually wakes up first and then pees (I’ve learned this from experience!). He sleeps pretty well through the night, only waking up a little bit to feed and then he goes right back to bed. At 2 weeks old he has me crying and wishing I could slow down time already.

Things we love about him: the faces he makes, his sweet smiles while sleeping, cuddling with him, kissing him all over, I could literally go on and on. We are so totally in love. I love his hands, his feet, his eyes, his lips, his nose, his hair, his cute thoughtful looks. I love how he loves to snuggle with me. I hate it when he cries and love that I can usually comfort him. I love that he is mine for eternity. I love that I am sealed to him with my husband. I love that we are a family. I love him. I can’t wait for his personality to come out. But, please, little one, don’t grow up too fast. My little momma heart can’t take it!

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Welcome, Little One

This blog has been really quiet and I think I have a good excuse for it – my son finally arrived July 12, 2017 at 8:34 am. He was 13 days over due. All images in this post (except for the last few of my boy) were taken by my sister, Melanie. Now that I’m finally getting the hang of things (like putting sweet baby boy down for a nap, for example) I will be blogging much more. I have some new tutorials and blog post ideas coming out this month and next. But as for right now, my birth story. I hope you enjoy!

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On July 10th, I had an ultrasound and non stress test and they scheduled me for a balloon induction the next day (July 11) at 7 pm. The balloon induction meant they would insert balloons and inflate them on my cervix for 12 hours (or when my cervix is opened to 7 cm) before they would give me pitocin. Pitocin was something I was against so I was really optimistic about the balloons.

On July 11th, when I am scheduled for balloon induction that night, I actually start having contractions. They’re totally doable – nothing too bad. My uterus was working hard to get the cervix to open up. I wasted the day with Melanie watching movies and playing games. Throughout the day she would monitor my contractions and track how long apart they were. Some were 5 minutes apart, while others were 10-15 minutes.

When it came time to actually go to the hospital, I received a phone call saying to wait to come because they didn’t have any rooms available for me. I waited for the second call telling us they had a room ready and we went in (this was around 7:10 pm). Once there, we received a triage room which was to check mine and the baby’s vitals and the room they would insert the balloons in. It wasn’t the birth room, though. This room was tiny. It was big enough for a small bed, a chair, and the monitors. Our nurses name was Jessica, she would continue to be my nurse until about 5 or 6 in the morning.

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As Cody and I sat there waiting for a birth room, my contractions started getting a little more intense, but nothing I couldn’t handle. I would breathe through them and remind myself that this was what my body was supposed to do. It was doing everything right. I trusted my body and my baby. Since my contractions were getting more and more intense, I decided to call my mom and tell her to come (around 9 pm). She was there 20 mins later with Melanie (my sister and photographer!), both were giddy and excited. By this time, the balloons were already in place. They were a little uncomfortable. By the time we got a room, I believe it was around 11 pm. We got there at 7 pm. I’m not sure what took them so long to get the room ready. I know the room I was in had to be cleaned. I didn’t get a tub room, either. I was a little bummed because I thought a bath would have been nice.

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To pass the time we turned on the TV and watched random shows like Fuller House and Fixer Upper (I love both of those shows). I knew it was going to be a long night for me – I couldn’t sleep through the contractions, they were too intense. I tried to distract myself by saying I’ll meet my baby soon. My water broke at around 2:30 am – at first I was terrified it was the balloons (they were filled with water) but when I pulled on the tube leading to the balloons, they didn’t budge. My nurse, Jessica, came to check and see if it was my water, and she confirmed that my water did break. As the night went on, I kept leaking water all over the place as I walked around, bounced on the ball, or went to the rest room. I really didn’t like it, I felt like I was peeing all over the place!

I don’t remember when, but my contractions started to become extremely painful. They no longer hurt my stomach, but my back. These new contractions were so painful. It took all I had to breathe through them. I yelled out in pain a few times. At this point I started to not care who was around me (except for my husband, I wanted to feel him near me at all times). I started to get discouraged – the balloons STILL had not come out (they were supposed to come out at 7 centimeters) which meant I would be laboring for quite a long time. It was around 4 am that my mom noticed that I was having back labor instead of regular labor. I also got sick and threw up around the time my contractions changed. That was not pleasant at all.

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At around 6 am I started thinking I can’t do this much longer. I’m going to have to get an epidural. I really wanted a natural birth so it was upsetting me quite a bit. I started thinking I wasn’t strong enough. I had so many doubts because I really thought I could do this birth thing. I thought I could birth my baby naturally.  I tried getting on my hands and knees, rocking, anything. The only thing that was working at this point was sitting on the toilet and just enduring each contraction. My nurse switched from Jessica to Jodi at around 7 am. My mom explained to this new nurse what was going on. How she believed I had back labor and that the balloons were still in. My mom asked if I could have an epidural and she also asked how far dilated would be too late for an epidural. Jodi said as long as I could sit still, she could do it. It was around this time that my legs started to shake uncontrollably. It was so annoying. When Jodi saw this, she thought it would be a good idea to check and see how dilated I really was (the balloons were supposed to stay in until 8 am). When she checked it hurt SO bad. I cried out in pain. But the news she gave me was amazing. Jodi said, “I believe she’s at 9 centimeters! I’m going to get another nurse to check.” When the other nurse came in to check, she said the same thing – 9 centimeters! I couldn’t believe it. So, they took the balloons out and started prepping for the birth of my child. And I knew I could do this. I felt empowered again.

My contractions changed again. They hurt – they hurt bad, but it suddenly didn’t matter. I was going to meet my son soon. While another nurse prepped the room, Jodi started prepping me. After I was prepped and ready, she started having me push. This was around 7:45 am. Pushing was the easiest part of this whole birth experience. I pushed so hard, I could feel my baby moving down and out of my body. I was so exhausted at this point that I actually started to fall asleep after each contraction. I couldn’t keep my eyes open and my body became relaxed. The contractions started coming slower – more time passed between each contraction. The midwives arrived the last 15 mins of pushing.

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When the final push happened and my baby boy was suddenly on my chest, all the pain I felt, all the uncertainties I had, they all vanished. All that mattered was that my baby boy was on my chest and he was beautiful. Everyone was crying – my mom, Melanie, Cody – except for me. I was just so overjoyed with my baby finally being here. And I was also on an adrenaline rush – I was suddenly not tired at all! Even though I labored all night and didn’t get any sleep (except for in-between each pushing contraction!). The tears came later when I finally realized that I was a mother. That I had to care for this beautiful little human being. That he needed me. And that he was mine forever.

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After the excitement died down, we were able to enjoy skin on skin contact with our newest addition. Then after about an hour, he got his first bath and he was weighed and measured. He weighed in at 8 lbs 6 ozs and was 20 1/2 inches long.

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These images just melt my momma heart! I am so blessed and thankful that my sister was able to take them for me while I recovered.

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I am forever grateful for my husband. I have fallen even more in love with him since the birth of our son. He is so helpful, caring, and patient. He loves our little boy so much. And of course it’s nice that he takes care of him and changes some diapers for me!

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And grandma can’t get enough of his sweet cheeks.

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My mom and sister stayed for a little while and then went home. They had a long night and had some things to do that day. My husband, son, and I got time alone in the big birth room. We bonded and started learning how to be a family. Usually, at this hospital, they move you from the birth room to the recovery room after two hours. He was born at 8:34 am and we didn’t move to the recovery room until around 3 pm. It was really nice – the nurses left us alone for most of that day and we bonded with our newborn son. I was so exhausted and tired from giving birth that I didn’t pick up my camera until two days later – the day we left the hospital. I am so glad I finally made myself get up and take pictures. I was too exhausted to get the pictures I really wanted, but I am happy I got some.

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Welcome to the world, little one.

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40 Weeks Pregnant – Day in the Life

This blog has been quiet. I will blame it on the stress of getting ready for baby, finishing work, and being pregnant. I am now fully on maternity leave starting yesterday – my due date, June 29th, 2017. I normally write letters to my little one each week. But, I’ve been having such a hard time picking up my camera lately, I thought the first day I didn’t have to go to work would be the perfect day to do a day in the life. I’m not good at these. In fact, I missed half the day yesterday! But I still got images that I love! I took so many images, and I think I may have gotten myself out of my little rut. It was also a lot of fun to do a day in the life this day, because my husband doesn’t work Thursdays at all and he was able to spend the whole day with me. It was so much fun! I hope you enjoy the pictures as much as I enjoyed taking them. And, yes, I am still pregnant (as of when I scheduled this post!) at 40 weeks. Patiently waiting for my little one to get here, but enjoying the time and freedom I have with my husband.

We started the day off with a doctor’s appointment. Well, it’s actually a midwife appointment. These midwifes are awesome and really listen to what I want. I didn’t get the images I wanted in the clinic, I only got one. I’m still a little camera shy when it comes to taking pictures in public. If you have any tips about that, I would love to hear them in the comments below. 🙂

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We then came home and my husband went to the gym and store while I stayed home and took a nap. 🙂 It was really nice not having to go back to work like I usually would the day of my doctor appointments (I always scheduled them for Thursdays so my husband didn’t have to worry about taking off work). That nap was much needed. I woke up feeling refreshed and relaxed. That usually doesn’t happen when I take naps, I’m usually cranky! When he came home from the gym, we cleaned a little and vacuumed. (I guess I should say HE cleaned and vacuumed while I played with the dogs and took pictures!!). Khannie doesn’t like it when he uses the vacuum like this – she always tries to get it.2017-06-29_0004

After that we relaxed and played video games, because what else do you do on your day off? I also was able to squeeze in some reading. I am reading about breastfeeding – I am so excited for this experience with my little one!

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My feet started hurting me so I asked my husband to rub them.

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I relaxed on the couch and snuggled my pup. After our little one gets here my pup will be competing for lap space. 🙂

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I then decided I wanted some cookies, so I made some! Of course I’m pretty lazy (hello week 40 of pregnancy!) so I bought some from the store earlier that week. They’re so yummy. 2017-06-29_0010

After that we relaxed some more (I know, we’re such a fun family, right?!).

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But then we decided to go on this walking bridge – you know, to try to help get baby boy to come. It was a little hot, and walking up that ramp was something else at 40 weeks pregnant! But once up there, the breeze was so nice. And the clouds were to die for.

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The bridge I used to cross every day to get to work. And a rainbow!

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We didn’t go all the way across the bridge (it’s a long bridge. I think round trip is 2 miles) because my feet started hurting, and I mean, I’m 40 weeks pregnant! So we started heading back.

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We decided to explore this little part of the ramp that had clay hearts with glass pieces in them. I wish it said who made them. But they were pretty!

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We then decided to head to the park that’s right next to the bridge to let my little sister play. On the way there I saw some pretty plants in sunlight…so of course, I had to stop. 😉

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I was pretty tired by then so I only chased my sister around for about a minute.

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Then we left.

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To end the day we got some ice cream and headed back home. I didn’t get any pictures of the ice cream – I was pretty exhausted by then! And the ice cream was messy. But overall, what a great way to spend my due date. So happy my husband didn’t have to work and I didn’t have to work. Now on to patiently waiting for the arrival of our little one.

 

Letters to My Little One | 36 Weeks In My Belly

 

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Thursday, June 1, 2017

To my little peanut,

 

I just wrote June, little one. June will most likely be your birth month (unless you decide you are too comfortable and wait till July!). Your due date is fast approaching! Physically, I feel great! I’m starting to move a little slower and waddle, but I really do feel great.  I can feel your big movements everyday. You are definitely starting to run out of room, I can tell. Don’t worry! We’re almost there! Then you’ll be outside of the womb and in my arms. And I will snuggle you so much and love you so much. Just 4 more weeks to go, little one.

I love it when your daddy explains why he is so excited for you to come. He’s excited to hold you. He’s excited to teach you. He’s excited to watch you learn on your own. He’s excited to watch you grow and develop. He’s excited to see you smile for the first time. But, most importantly, he’s excited to be your dad. (Little side note, little one, if you came on Father’s Day, I think I’d be OK with that!). I can tell as time is getting closer to your arrival just how excited daddy is about you coming into this world. And I am excited, too! You’ve definitely got us both wrapped around your cute little fingers already. And you’re not even in our arms yet!

I think we are pretty much ready for you. We have so many cute little outfits for you, some toys, and some books! You also have a really nice stroller and car seat for all of your travel needs. One thing we have yet to do is set up your crib. But that’s on the agenda this weekend, so don’t worry about your sleeping arrangements when you arrive. Mommy and daddy have you covered.

I’m in shock. I really can’t believe it is June. I remember when I found out I was pregnant, last October, I couldn’t believe it. We had tried for so long to get pregnant. And there was the little ‘pregnant’ sign on my pregnancy test saying I was pregnant with you. And now I am shock that it’s June. That the due date of June 29th is only 4 short weeks away. A month really isn’t that long at all. I am so excited to hold you. To care for you. To love you. To watch you grow. To see those hiccups in real life (you are hiccuping right now as I type this, it’s so cute!). To teach you about anything and everything. You’re a miracle, little one, you always will be in my eyes. You make me so happy already I’m not sure how I could be happier once you’re here, but I know I will be!

The count down is on.

I love you so much!

Love, mommy